True Life: My Job (Kinda) Scares Me

Now, as I’m sitting down to write this, I’m in the beginning stages of branding two new businesses. Knowing this, I should be thrilled at the potential ahead of me, yet here I am, feeling all sorts of nerves. Because despite a nicely curated feed and portfolio, I still feel the weight of what it means to brand a business from the ground up. And probably always will.

I’m not sure if it’s the best strategy to admit that I’m a brand designer that’s (kinda) scared of what she does, but it’s the truth. In fact, my train of thought throughout the life of a project goes something like this (which has obviously been aggressively abbreviated because, well, I don’t want to bore you):

“Ohgodohgodohgod, here we go again. I am being PAID to create the IDENTITY of this business. No big deal. Just kidding, this is kind of a big deal. But you’ve got this. You’ve done this before. Just go for it, Breanna.

Okay, well, I suck. Look at this nothing-ness. You call yourself a creative human? Oh waiiiiit, what if I try this? Hmm, that’s better. But it’s not good enough. Okay, what if I move this over here and switch up the type? Now we’re talking. Let’s play around with this some more. Maybe I am an alright designer after all? Okay, yeah, I’m on a roll. I could do this all day. YES, this is it. This is THE BRAND. Thank goddddd. I’m going to eat some chocolate now.”

This is ... a bit dramatic, but honestly, pretty accurate.

Don’t get me wrong, I love and am proud of what I do. But that pride has never erased the enormity of that which is my job. And maybe that’s okay? Because even though I feel the nerves of responsibility at the beginning of any single project, I’ve always been able to come out the other side without so much as a scratch.

In fact, there’s a part of me that wonders if the purpose of nerves is there to serve as kindling for our own creativity or life’s journey. A spark that pushes us forward into the unknown.

So ... why am I sharing all of this? Because like most, I have a tendency to compare my work to others. To believe that a beautifully curated feed or portfolio is equivalent to another creative having their sh*t together. But that’s not always (or ever) the case. Whether you’re a designer or not, we’re all walking down our own paths as creatives. And even when it feels (kinda) scary or overwhelming, I want you to know that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all going somewhere. We just have to be open to wherever that is and brave enough to find out.

Please note: This post was originally published in the Rowan Made newsletter on February 1st, 2018. If you like what you see, you can join us (most weeks) right here. There are no opt-in promises or fancy worksheets on the other side. Just me, being honest with you.